My Beliefs
I have just started my “Journey” into the Wicca beliefs although I have been following the path for quite a few years unknowingly. From what I have experienced so far, I feel Wicca is a way for women to gain back their innate Intuitiveness, Power, Compassion, Awareness and Belief in themselves that has been stripped away by abuse, ignorance and the need for control. I feel their are many forms of Light & Truth. If we limit ourselves to only one form, we stifle our growth and hinder the energy from the world around us. If you leave yourself open to receive Light & Truth in all forms in which it may come to you, you give God the opportunity to minister to you in awesome ways you never would of seen with only one view point.
I have been blessed to have had the opportunity to experience several forms of Light & Truth. I am still sorting through all of them and becoming friends with the Light & Truth that I have learned. When I can quiet down all the voices in my head that are arguing about which Light & Truth is “THE” one or which one is more important than the other one or which one is actually Satan himself coming to take me to Hell, I will be able to become the person that I am suppose to be.
It has been my experience that everyone has there own limitations and view points on what is right and wrong – most of which is based on how you were brought up and the experiences you have had in life. I have found that most people tend to judge someone’s beliefs when they are not exactly like theirs. This has always amazed me! We all are God’s Children – what makes one person think God talks to them more than he talks to someone else. He made us all very different and unique after “His Likeness” - it seems to me that he would know how to reach us? He might reach one person in a Church Pew, while he talks to another one walking on the Beach. Should we go where people think we should go to worship God, or should we have a “personal” relationship with “Our Father” and worship him where he leads us. He may have something on the Beach that is just what he needs to reach us that we would not have found in Church. I don’t think he meant for us to judge each other so harshly!
I have gone to Church off and on for most of my life. More “off” than “on”… There was a part of me that was missing. I just didn’t feel whole no matter how hard I tried. There was something in me crying out – “PHONEY”! I didn’t understand what that was until a couple years ago. It was the abused child inside! I was going off on my Spiritual Walk and I had left her locked in the closet! Now I realize, God was locked in there with her! I had to take a “Time Out” and go back and let her out. It has not been easy to say the least! The heartache and emotions that I have held inside are more than I can bear and I need to take baby steps to get to know her. People just don’t understand… They think I should just get on with life and forget about my past. I have been doing that all my life and it has resulted in becoming a very sick empty shell. I am finally learning what it is like to feel… It would be like a person that was born blind seeing for the first time.
My Inner Child “Janis”
I feel I need to honor my pain and realize that I have been abused and that it is O.K. that I am not “NORMAL”. That has been a real eye opener for me and I still haven’t really accepted it yet. I was taught that “you get up and brush yourself off and go on” and that is exactly what I have done all my life but I just cannot do it anymore!
I pray for understanding and compassion (not sympathy) but just to be accepted for who I am and how I feel I need to live my life. I feel judgement from others most of the time… I am thinking maybe this is because from day one I was made to feel dirty and different. I think people can sense that from me and judge me accordingly. I can feel the day coming however, that I will rise above that false image of myself and people will be able to see me for who I am.
“A Child of God”
