Forgiveness
Forgiveness is the KEY to healing! It is really the last thing we want to do when we feel we have been so abused and mistreated but it is essential that we forgive everyone involved. Harbored bitterness, resentment, anger, and unforgiveness is the spawning ground for almost all illness and dis-ease. Our body is actually self healing, but when it is out of balance with the above mentioned emotions, it does not function properly and becomes ill.
It really wasn’t that hard for me to forgive my rapists. It was hard, believe me, I wanted to kill them all and/or anyone who even remotely resembled an abuser for many years, but I finally could look at them with a certain amount of sympathy, knowing that they will have to answer for their actions and that it was not my fault.
The hardest thing for me to do and I am STILL working on, is forgiving my Sister and “Self Righteous Christians“. I needed acceptance and approval so bad and the more I tried to fit in, the more it seems I was rejected. It is like some people live in a BUBBLE and if you are not fluffy and cute, or if you do not believe the same way they do, you can’t come in. I have lived too much Reality for that!!! I had so many issues within myself of abandonment, rejection, unworthiness etc. that I just didn’t feel like I was good enough to fit in and it seemed to me like alot of them were looking down their nose at me because I did not function properly. I am not saying all Christians are this way, but alot of them are and it is really sad… People that are hurt and have really good hearts just don’t feel comfortable or good enough to be accepted by God’s people. THAT IS WRONG!!! Things are changing now though - there seems to be a Spirit of Love and Acceptance coming alive in the Church today. I believe Christ will be coming again soon! 
Please don’t misunderstand me – God has put some very loving Christians in my life and I am VERY THANKFUL for them but I have also been hurt deeply by alot of Christians! I think the key here is to reach deep down inside yourself and pray for healing and become who “YOU ARE” and don’t conform or try to fit in. When you “KNOW” God loves you, it doesn’t matter what other people think… that is their problem! We need to remember that we are all “On Our Way Back Home” and none of us are perfect. The people that we feel are not accepting us probably have issues of insecurity of their own.
As far as my Sister goes, she has always had a hatred towards me because I was Dad’s favorite. She has done everything in her power to sabotage my life. Everytime I have tried to be a sister and forgive her, she would stab me in the back again. I grew to HATE her at an early age and detested having the same blood running through my veins. I tried my whole life not to be like her but it seems as the years went by, her hold on me grew. I felt she was sitting on me and I was suffocating!
I REALLY DID FEEL LIKE THAT!!!
I have prayed for many years for God to give me the power to forgive her, but it is hard to forgive someone who does not even feel like they are doing anything wrong or at least admit they are! I have finally come to the conclusion that she is probably just as sick as I am or was and needs my compassion and forgiveness. Stepping out from the “VICTIM” role with her is where I need to be. As long as I hate her or cannot forgive her, she will have the power to keep hurting me. I have to become the older sister and have compassion for her and love her even though she wants to hurt me. HATE only gives the enemy power!
I truly believe that judgement from others plays a big part in keeping us from receiving our healing as well. We need to be able to accept ourselves where we are on
“Our Journey Home”
and the judgement and condemnation that others bestow on us keeps us in our state of being unacceptable and falling short – not worthy of redemption or exaltation. This is a lie of the Devil and he uses people close to us or people that we care about or want acceptance from to keep us feeling unacceptable or unworthy to be “Who We Are” in Christ. None of us are perfect, and he loves the Bum on skid row begging for his next drink as much or maybe even more (depending on what is in their heart) than the person that goes to Church 3 times a week and is involved in all sorts of Community Services.
“Our righteousness is as filthy rags in his sight”.
I pray that someday soon, I will be able to walk down the street and have enough “LOVE AND FAITH” within, that just by reaching out and shaking someones hand, they will be healed. I know this can be done, but one has to have the anointing and FAITH to do it. Wouldn’t it be awesome if we could ALL do this?!?! I truly believe this will happen in our lifetime! Jesus said we would do greater works than he did… there is no reason this could not happen if we could only BELIEVE!
Here are a couple FAITH ministry links that have really helped me!
Joyce Meyer experienced sexual abuse as a child also and her ministry is all about how to rise above the scars from abuse.
Joyce Meyer – Enjoying Everyday Life
Gregory Dickow is just a really down to earth type Minister with very good insights on healing emotions.
I REALLY ENJOY HIS PREACHING!
